Children between the ages of three and five are often very eager to help with household chores—especially chores that look like fun and are usually reserved for big kids or adults. Seize the opportunity and capitalize on your child’s natural desire to be grown up and useful. Just realize that it’s an opportunity to teach children responsibility, self-reliance and needed skills, and not an opportunity to reduce your own workload.
Pitching in can deepen a child’s sense of purpose and belonging to a family and develop a spirit of cooperation. A child’s first chores should be shared experiences, such as helping to set the table or being part of the yard clean-up crew. The focus is not only the work, but the working together. This also allows you to set a good example, showing you take seriously your responsibility to do your own chores.
Realize that it will take your child longer to do the job than if you did it yourself. Allow adequate time so that you’re not frustrated and your child doesn’t feel pressured. Encourage your child to do the best she can and praise her effort. Be prepared to accept results that are less-than-perfect. If your child knows the job could be done better, reassure him that he’ll improve over time. Resist the impulse to take over and do the job yourself.
Nancy Olsen-Harbich is a human development specialist at Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County. For more information about early childhood and parenting programs, call 631-727-7850.
Suitable Tasks
Help set the table. This can also help children learn left from right and organizing and sorting skills. Don’t give young children china or other valued breakables.
Wipe up spills from the floor. Young children usually like to use spray bottles, but these should contain only plain water or mild soap and water, not chemical cleansers.
Sweep the floor, using a small, child-sized broom.
Help sort recyclables.
Put toys away. Storing toys in bins on shelves makes it easier for children to select the toys and put them away.
Personal chores, such as dressing themselves, perhaps with some adult assistance.
Help feed, walk or exercise the family pet.
The Right Fit
The job should be right-sized for a young child’s strength, endurance and attention span, and tools should fit little hands. Tasks that are too big can be self-defeating. Make sure your child understands what the job is and how to do it correctly and safely. Paying attention and following directions are skills valued not only by parents, but by teachers and employers as well.
