Your head aches and your stomach clenches. But it’s not an illness that has you in its grip. It’s the sudden stress that surfaces when the sitter calls at 6 am to tell you she can’t make it today or your child wakes with a fever and can’t go to her day care center—and you and your spouse both have important business meetings at 9 am. Or you didn’t realize that tomorrow is a conference day so the kids will be home from school, and you have to take your mother to a long-awaited medical appointment, no kids allowed.

These familiar child care emergencies can send a family into a tailspin. That’s why the experts say you need to organize a back-up plan at the same time you’re arranging for your daily child care needs.

“It’s not a safe situation to wait until the last minute. You wouldn’t want to leave your child with someone you haven’t screened,” says Audrey Rudolph, coordinator of resources and referral for the Child Care Council of Suffolk. “And you’d want to make sure your child has at least met the person ahead of time and is comfortable with her, especially if your child is sick or doesn’t transition well.”

All parents need pinch-hitters for those days when you have no one else to watch your child, whether or not you work, since there are always emergencies, from an illness that sidelines a parent to business trips to traffic delays that prevent you from meeting the bus. And because you can’t guarantee that someone will be available when you make that last-minute call, it’s also beneficial to set up several possibilities.

Other Parents
The best option for most families is to call on a relative. But since that’s often not possible, start by building a network of other parents who can help spell you in emergencies and to whom you offer the same, says Linda Lisi Juergens, executive director of the National Association of Mothers’ Centers in Jericho.

“The kind of networking that people devote a lot of effort to in their business lives can really be used by moms and dads to build a support network for their parenting,” she says. “You might find someone who can meet your child’s bus if you're late, have a spare house key to let your child in if she loses hers, pick him up from school if he’s sick and you’re traveling, or car pool to the after-school activity that starts before you get home from work.” 

Juergens says while it may be a challenge to reciprocate—and you must—you can be creative. For instance, if you’re planning something special on a weekend, you can invite the other parent’s child along. 

“You can offer to watch their kids so they can shop uninterrupted, go on a date with their spouse or paint their living room,” she says. “It’s true that some of the requests may cut into your own down time or time with your kids. But it’s worth the general peace of mind you gain by knowing you have a safety net you can rely on.” 

Scope the Community
Whether or not you use child care on a regular basis, brainstorm about other adults you know in your community, says Arlene Labenson, director of parent services for the Child Care Council of Nassau. Juergens suggests tapping older friends and neighbors who are still capable of caring for your kids.  You might respond by picking up grocery items for them when you shop for yourself or inviting them to join your family for meals or holidays if they’re far from their own family.  

In addition, Labenson suggests:

• Think about college students and seniors who may have more flexible schedules.
• Put up a sign in your local supermarket, church or temple bulletin board.
• Check in with others who use licensed child care to get their recommendations.
• Call an organization you belong to, like a mothers’ center or your church, since many have extended family committees just for this type of help.

Day Care Centers

While day care centers won’t take a sick child, Rudolph says that a number have emergency child care spots set aside, based on availability. Both Child Care Councils can provide parents with referrals to these centers, as well as family daycare and legal two providers (providers who can care for two children plus their own). They can also give referrals for services that have before- and after-school care and vacation care.
But Rudolph stresses that parents have to fill out all paperwork ahead of time with the child care provider. That includes supplying up-to-date medical records, emergency contacts and release information. In addition, have your child visit the facility beforehand so it’s not a totally new environment.

Some lucky employees work for corporations that contract with day care centers for emergency and school vacation child care. If this isn’t an option at your job, depending on your relationship with your boss, Labenson suggests that you discuss in advance what you can do if you need back-up care. Or go to human resources and find out the rules. Some companies allow sick days for parents when your child’s ill.

And if your child is well, you may be able to bring him to work, says Labenson. “But again, you need to establish the company’s policies about this before you need to act on it.”

Nanny Agencies

If you prefer in-home care, Vanessa Wauchope, founder of Sensible Sitters, a 24-hour babysitting service based in Manhattan, recommends sharing nannies with friends. “Double up with another family using their nanny or sitter and pay time-and-a-half to watch your child—if your child isn’t sick. It works well because the kids already know the sitter, most likely, or can easily be introduced ahead of time,” she says.

Further, nanny agencies can provide eleventh-hour sitters. But most require that you register beforehand so you can interview the nannies and check their references. If you have no other options and need to hire a nanny or sitter from a service at the last minute, most agencies can e-mail you a resume and references that you can call that morning, says Wauchope.

One final caveat: “Whenever you have someone take care of your child, you should make the time to do a thorough interview and investigation,” says Labeson. “You may be in emergency mode, but you don’t want just anyone caring for your child.”