As fathers, Phillip O'Brien and Gus Masone know how tricky it can be raising teenagers.  Phillip has just started the journey with his 14-year old son Phillip (and his 12-year-old daughter Phylicia isn’t too far behind). Gus is a few years removed from the experience, now that the Shirley-resident's sons Joe and Paul, and daughter Gina are in their twenties.  But that doesn't mean Gus has forgotten the challenges he faced during those years.

"I think the teenage years are extremely difficult for a father," says Gus.  "I found that the kids became a little more headstrong and confident in their reasoning to make a decision – but they didn’t have enough life experiences to know whether those decisions were correct.  But as a father, the one thing you have to be aware of is not to throw out those decisions or push one on them." 

For that reason, Both Gus and Phillip believe it’s critical for dads to adapt their parenting style with teenagers.  While you don't dismiss family expectations and rules, you must give your teenage son and/or daughter the flexibility to become more independent and develop their own identities. 

Part of that exploration may result in fathers finding their children somewhat distant to them at this age.  The key to handling those moments is not to feel slighted by their behavior or take offense.  Instead, you should recognize that it's part of their maturation process.  But you should continue to find opportunities to bond with your kids as best you can to show how much you care about them and that you’re ready to listen, when needed. 

"We know that our kids are going through their own changes," says Phillip. "But we want to make them feel comfortable to come to us when they have questions or problems.  As a dad, I want to make sure they don’t go to friends or other people to get answers to questions.”

Gus adds:  “The most important thing with children at this age is to constantly keep the lines of communication open.  Continually reinforce your love for them and that you are there for them.  Those things are very important.  You won’t be successful without them.”