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Sweating the Summer
By Claudia Gryvatz Copquin
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Welcome to The Blended Family. I was a single mom of three for 10 years. Anyone who is or has been a single parent fully understands the implications; you adore your children and do everything in your power to help them develop and grow in a healthy and safe environment. At the same time, you’re solely responsible for taking care of your own needs. It can be a difficult balancing act. But raising my children on my own has been the most rewarding and fulfilling challenge I’ve ever taken on.
Until now, that is.
If you’re currently also part of a blended family, you understand the hurdles to overcome: each of the two families that are blending bring their own personalities, family rules, boundaries and issues to the table. So here we'll explore the ongoing dynamics of blending families through my personal adventure. And I hope you share your own stories, comments, questions, concerns, with me and other readers as we move along.
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It’s a sultry 97 degrees. My hair is coiling contemptuously as a colony of ants uniformly roasts on the scorching cement. That’s when it hits me: It’s summer. Again.
For most, this is joyous news. Practically every adult I know looks forward to the advent of summer with the anticipation of children awaiting Christmas Eve. As if summer is the gift they’ve been asking for all year, as it nears, they clap their hands excitedly, citing all the fun they’ll have in the sun. My argument that everything that can be accomplished in sweltering heat can just as well be carried out in the spring and autumn and under much more pleasant conditions, falls on deaf ears. They tout the glories of warm weather, discounting the fact that most of their waking time is in fact spent inside their air-conditioned cars, their air-conditioned offices and their air-conditioned homes. If you really love your summer, you ought to love it unconditionally, I want to holler at them.
Summer is my season of discontent and not just because it’s defined by blazing temperatures and mind-numbing humidity. It’s also roughly two-and-a-half months of time off for kids. Granted, it’s also a break for car-pooling parents. But keeping kids at bay all summer is just as tiresome. And expensive. So their children stay out of their hair, Long Island parents spend thousands on camp fees. I’m no exception.
In my blended family, we have five kids – teenagers and beyond. I work from home. I thrive on organization, structure and schedules. They thrive on leaving dirty dishes in the kitchen sink.
This summer, I’m the proud mom of twin recent college grads, who along with my 18-year-old step-daughter, are all back home. Their jobs are to look for jobs. This leaves long stretches for recreation, much of which consists of The Tyra Banks Show, True Life, and the all-consuming Sixteen and Pregnant. Amber is having Gary’s baby. After moving in together, Gary stupidly spent all their savings, which freaked out Amber’s parents. Gary used to be Amber’s brother’s best friend, but not since he and Amber hooked up. Did I mention the TV is within earshot of my office?
While the younger two are at camp, the older girls’ erratic social and non-employment schedules ensures that a) there’s never a good time to help me around the house and b) I’ll either cook too much food for dinner, or too little. With no set bedtimes to adhere to, our house is now lit up like a bank until all hours of the night. Cars containing friends and friends of friends pull in and out of our driveway so often we’re considering designating lanes for loading and unloading passengers. The traffic triggers incessant barking from our dog, perfectly timed to coordinate with my business telephone calls.
Sure, it’s only June, but because one can never be prepared too soon, my step-daughter’s car is already packed with her dorm stuff. I’ve laid out my 16-year-old’s first-day-of school outfit; my step-son’s brown paper lunch bag awaits in the fridge. Three down, two to go. |
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