Welcome to The Blended Family.  I was a single mom of three for 10 years.  Anyone who is or has been a single parent fully understands the implications; you adore your children and do everything in your power to help them develop and grow in a healthy and safe environment. At the same time, you’re solely responsible for taking care of your own needs. It can be a difficult balancing act.  But raising my children on my own has been the most rewarding and fulfilling challenge I’ve ever taken on.  Until now, that is. If you’re currently also part of a blended family, you understand the hurdles to overcome: each of the two families that are blending bring their own personalities, family rules, boundaries and issues to the table.  So here we'll explore the ongoing dynamics of blending families through my personal  adventure. And I hope you share your own stories, comments, questions, concerns, with me and other readers as we move along.

Blended.  Just a year ago, the only things I associated with this word were milkshakes and smoothies.  Today, instead I automatically think of Lauren and Eric, the two children that were recently supplemented to my own, Mallory, Jessica and Allison, when we became one family.  They’re all teenagers in various stages of development. You’ll get to know each of them eventually, but here’s the lowdown for now:  My oldest two, twins, are away, juniors at college.  Lauren, my step-daughter, is suffering from senioritis.  In September, she’ll too go away to college for her freshman year.  And then there’s my step-son Eric and my daughter Allison, both fifteen. 

When it comes to blended families, the variations are endless, but in our case, my girls and I moved into my fiancé Glen’s house.  It was a practical decision (one of many we’ve made since) as his was the larger house.  And he has fulltime custody of his two kids, making our living arrangement a 100 percent true-blue blend – meaning, there are no every-other-weekend visitors here, and even though my older girls are at college, they’re home almost half the year between breaks and holidays.

As for Glen and me, well, we didn’t come to this merge easily.  For over a year, we circled around the subject of moving in together, toying with the notion, turning the what-ifs inside out.  We knew our bond was secure; but we had many reservations about our children, collectively.  Would they all get along?  How would we handle conflict amongst them?  How would we deal with parenting issues? These and myriad more question, but always at the top of the list was this frightening notion: What if blending families ruined our relationship?  

We understand now that asking ourselves these questions was central to our survival as a blended family.  As for the answers, well, those we deal with on a day by day basis.  Stay tuned…

Quick Tips:
Graduation ceremonies, school concerts, recitals, proms. This is the season for so many family-oriented events and celebrations. For blended families, any occasion is reason to reinforce a united front, as these are opportunities for bonding. So do encourage step-siblings to cheer each other on. Don't force them, however, to attend events, because that could create tension and resentment amongst them, if they really don't want to participate.